Stubborn
by MaimeSan
Summary: Lissa wants a relationship, but Rose keeps avoiding it. She tries to bury all her feelings which results in her ending up in the infirmary. One-shot, AU, OOC, F/F, LXR, The M rating is because of the swearing


**Warnings: One-shot, AU, OOC, F/F, LXR, No Beta, Vulgar language, Angst  
A/N: It's a weird one-shot I came up with during a boring class in school.  
Timeline: During the first book, except Rose and Lissa never left the academy and Rose didn't stop being a party girl, she actually got worse.**

******Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy**

LPOV

»Lissa,« I looked her in the eyes, "I can't. You know I love him."

"No, you don't. Stop trying to deny this. We both know you want it. We both know it's meant to happen."

"It doesn't matter. You're a Dragomir, the last of your line, and I'm nothing more than your bodyguard. You need to have kids, you need to continue the royal line, and you can't do that if you're with me."

"So you're going to live in denial for the rest of your life? You're going to watch me as I fuck my boyfriend, and not say anything?"

Rose looked down, not wanting her to see how much it actually hurt her. Lissa got off her bed, and stepped in front of her. She grabbed her by her chin, and forced her to meet her gaze.

"You know you can't. I can't hurt you like that. Just please, we can do this. Stop worrying about everything, and just focus on us."

Rose's eyes were starting to fill with tears, and she tried to blink them away but it didn't work, "I-I can't," she whispered, and ran out of the room.

_ROSE! _Lissa screamed in her mind, trying to bring Rose back. She hoped she could convince her. She couldn't live without her. She needed her, and she knew Rose needed her too. They've been ignoring their feelings for years, and she couldn't take it anymore. Every time Christian touched her, all she felt was disgust. Every time she saw Rose being touched by Dimitri all she wanted to do was rip his heart out, and she knew Rose knew.

_Please Rose, come back. Don't do anything stupid again._ Every time Lissa put any pressure on Rose regarding her feelings, Rose always did something stupid. Sometimes she drank, other times she picked a fight, and sometimes, sometimes Rose would throw herself at the first guy she could find just so she could "confirm she's straight." Sometimes she did all at once. The whole school already knew about her. Rose has gotten quite a reputation, and guys, Moroi and dhampir, flirted with her all the time, and keep giving her inappropriate offers. It didn't exactly help when she accepted a few when she was trying to reassure herself into her straightness.

_Rose, if you go, and fuck some guy right now again, I swear to god I'm never going to speak to you again. We both know I'm going to find out sooner or later. _She sighed. She knew she couldn't do anything to stop her so she resorted to blackmailing her. _Just come back. _She didn't get a response from her but she knew she wouldn't do anything. No matter how many fights they had, Rose could never leave Lissa, and they both knew it, and not just because of the promise Rose made to her parents before they died, but also because Rose needed Lissa to survive.

The darkness that almost swallowed her when the car accident happened just didn't want to go away, and every time Rose sucked some of the darkness from Lissa, she herself was spiraling out of control, and couldn't handle it. Lissa was there to pick her up every time that happened, and helped her the best she could. That was also the only time Rose let her walls down around her, and Lissa took full advantage of that.

RPOV

I can't believe she did that again. She knows how I feel about her, and she knows we can't be together, and that it's killing me inside, and yet she keeps pushing. I wipe the tears away from my eyes as I ran down her hallway back to the common room. _ROSE! _I shake my head, and try to get rid of her scream inside my head. That's the worst part. No matter how much I try to run away from her, she's always there. Because of this stupid bond I can't stop feeling her, I can't stop seeing her. I can't have a second without her invading my mind.

_Please Rose, come back. Don't do anything stupid again. _I punch the wall near me, and try to control myself. All I want to do right now is yell, but I can't. Everyone will know if I start yelling now. I'm not the one who's being stupid. I'm not the one who keeps pushing for something that could never happen. Why can't she see that?! I'm shaking with anger right now, and I need… something. I need to forget this.

I need a drink. I run up to my room only to find my supply cleaned out. When did that happen? Note to self, get more alcohol later. I just need to vent right now. I go back to the common room now looking for anyone that's willing…

_Rose, if you go, and fuck some guy right now again, I swear to god I'm never going to speak to you again. We both know I'm going to find out sooner or later. _Perfect timing. She was just starting a make out session with a senior whose name she didn't even know. She almost screamed in frustration as she got up, and left for the gym. She desperately needed to get rid of her feelings, and the only thing left right now was some hard core practicing. She knew Lissa was right. She would have found out no matter how much she'd try to hide it, and she needed her.

When she arrived at the gym she saw no one was there, and she quickly approached the punching bag nearest to her, and started kicking. After about three hours of relentless kicking and punching, her hands hurt really badly, but she didn't want to stop. She still felt all her feelings from before, and she let them take control. She continued with her onslaught until her hands started bleeding, and even then she didn't quit. She was exhausted but she couldn't make herself stop. She knew the darkness was winning right now, but she also knew she couldn't handle not doing anything so she decided to go for a run.

It was hot as hell outside, and she already felt a bit dehydrated, but that didn't stop her. She kept running faster, and faster, her legs burning up, but she didn't care. After about her fifteenth lap she started to get dizzy, and in the middle of the twentieth lap she finally collapsed, breathing for air she was in desperate need right now. She lay there on the floor for a few minutes, fighting with the black spots that were trying to consume her vision.

Nevertheless she crawled back up to the gym, and the black spots became bigger, and bigger. She knew Lissa will be pissed at her because of what she did, and she really wished she hadn't done this, but it was already too late. She'll just add it to the long list of the times she screwed up. After a few minutes she finally gave up, and let black spots take her whole.

She thought she heard footsteps coming towards her, right before she blacked out, but she couldn't be sure. She was sure however, that she was in trouble the second she woke up in infirmary with Lissa and Dimitri next to her bed. Lissa looked pretty pissed, and Dimitri looked concerned.

LPOV

"Hey guys," she smiled, and I wanted to punch her so hard… she must have seen it in my expression because she flinched a little.

"Dimitri, could you leave us alone for a while?" I asked forcing myself to be polite as I turned to him.

"Um… sure. Rose are you okay?" he asked. I rolled my eyes, _right now she is, but she won't be after I'm done with her._

She flinched again, and I smirked. _Good._ "Um, yeah, I'm fine. I just had an intense workout." She gave him that man-eating smile again, and I felt the urge to hit her.

Dimitri looked absolutely flushed, abruptly stood, and left. I turned around, and gave her my death glare. "I'm sorry…" she started but I stopped her. "I specifically told you not to do anything stupid, and what do you do?! Something stupid! You could have seriously hurt yourself! Someone else could have come in when you were unconscious and took advantage of you!" I stood up, and started pacing around the room.

"You're supposed to be my guardian when we graduate. How am I to trust you with my life if you're being so reckless all the time!? You're acting like a baby. Why can't we just talk about things like two adults should, and stop running from the issue?" I finished my speech, and sat back down beside the bed.

"I'm sorry Liss. I don't understand why you're pushing this so hard. You know I love you, but we can't be together, and you're just making it harder…" she turns her gaze away from me for a second, and I see a shadow of pain flicker across her face.

"Then stop fighting it." I whisper. I hold her hand, and squeeze lightly. She just smiles weakly, and shakes her head.

"Lissa, if anyone would've found out, they'd kick me out, and I'm already walking on thin ice with all my extracurricular activities." By that she means all the pranks she pulled on the teachers and the students that got her called to the principal's office. She's gotten a bit better in the last year because her training with Dimitri keeps her occupied through most of the afternoon, an activity I'm not really fond of.

"They can't do anything if they don't have proof, and besides you'd have to stop behaving so recklessly if you want to have me in my life, friendship or more. We'd just keep our relationship private." I search her eyes and nervously wait for a response. I know she'll probably just tried to think of another hundred more excuses why we can't be together, and at the beginning it was slightly amusing, but now her fear is just getting infuriating. I see resignation, and I can't help but wonder if I've finally gotten through to her.

"And if it doesn't work out?"

"Then we go back to being friends. You're not going to lose me." I smile reassuringly and tighten my grip on her hand for a moment.

"Fine. But I want to have the right to say 'I told you so' when this blows up in our faces."

I quickly stood up, leaned forward and kissed her, "Deal."


End file.
